I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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