Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
