there's paper in my vomit.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
