I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Randomize
