im having a threesome with these popsicles
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize