It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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