I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
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