how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
