She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
