She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
