I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize