I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
