my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
