sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Acid is not a monday night drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize