Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize