For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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