remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
