just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
