I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
