Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
