Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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