I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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