Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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