She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
