Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
