It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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