Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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