Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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