She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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