i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
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