I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
