You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
