We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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