shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize