I got chris browned last night
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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