somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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