thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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