my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
