Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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