It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You dont lie about slip and slides
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
