Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
