yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
