Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
