What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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