i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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