The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
