If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
