apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
