I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
