The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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