I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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