i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
