Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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