Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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