Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
