how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
